I suppose that if I'm going to have a blog, I might as well actually write in it sometime. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I have made a couple of posts and then gone back and deleted them after having them up for a while and changing my mind about what I said.

I can't decide what to do with this blog: whether or not it should have a theme or just be a sort of journal; if I should just post poetry (which would be kind of silly seeing as I rarely find myself able to write poems) or photography. I guess it doesn't really matter. I'll just post what I want to post, hopefully somewhat regularly.

I have a week left of school and I am extremely glad for this, but I'm a little bit nervous about what's going to happen this summer. I really need to get a job and am hoping to do something that I enjoy (at least a little bit), but am so desperate for anything that enjoyment is, unfortunately, not my top priority. I've applied to a bunch of food places that I really don't care to work at, but also a couple of daycares. I'd really like to work at a daycare, I think. I love kids and it seems like the type of job that has the potential to be "meaningful" in a way that serving people food isn't. I don't know, though. Honestly, I just need the money.

But I feel as if this "need" for money is in conflict with my desire to be easy-going and worldly and indulgent and ... nomadic. Maybe everyone does have to "settle down" before they can venture out, though. Maybe it is necessary to gain certain experiences before stepping into the unknown. However, then again, I might even be wasting my time and money with college. I can't help but ask myself "what if I die tomorrow?" I will have never lived, right?